Java monster shall forever be the death of me!

So I am 1 day into my diet and I think I am losing my ever loving mind! Food wise I am doing quite well, but I can't get past the cravings for sugary drinks. As everyone in my life knows I have an awful addiction to mean bean java monster energy drinks. (It is the one thing that helps me deal with customers at work) The problem is there is far too much sugar and I am trying to cut sugar slowly out of my diet. I have tried switching to coffee and using splenda but all artificial sugars make my belly hurt. I have heard it takes 21 days to break a habit and I sure hope those 21 days come and go quickly! 

Breakfast- 3/4 cup of fiber plus Caramel Pecan crunch cereal with 1/2 cup almond milk (BEST CEREAL EVER) and 1 red delicious apple

Lunch- Lean Cuisine roasted garlic chicken pizza

Snack- Baby carrots (lost track of how many)


Dinner- 1/2 cup whole grain pasta with tomato spinach and chicken in a garlic white wine sauce


I know that boxed meals are not the best thing for me diet wise but i am trying to find ways to deal with portion control. I am hoping to meet with a dietitian sometime soon to see what diet will work best for me.
 
 

Starting my journey

Today I have finally seen what I have become, and now it is time for me to do something about it. I went to the Doctors yesterday and I weighed in at 217 lbs. When I checked the bmi calculator in the office I am just a few lbs away from being considered morbidly obese. I am 23 I want to have a family, but at the weight I am at right now and with the pcos that can not happen until I take better care of myself. For years I was always ashamed of my body and looking back weighing 150 lbs was nothing to be ashamed of.

           Once I got my license I went and tried to comfort myself with fast food which was the biggest mistake of my life. All throughout High School I was tormented for being the "fat girl" and after a while you start to believe all of the garbage people say about you, and instead of talking to someone and getting help I turned to fast food, and all it did was turn on me. I guess in a way fast food was my best friend. It did not judge me, it did not care what I looked like, it was just that one thing to cheer me up when I was down. I don't even want to know what I have spent at McDonalds and Wendys over the past 6 or 7 years :-(

           And though it all I have a wonderful boyfriend who has in my mind put up with me and my weight since we were 16 years old. In 6 years you should be comfortable enough with someone for them to know every aspect of who you are, and I am still holding who I am inside. He would love to see me in dresses and other things most 23 year old women wear, but my daily wardrobe is usually jeans and a t-shirt, even in the summer. I just can't get past being fat and having my jiggly arms show in a dress or tank top, hell I can't even remember the last time I wore a pair of shorts.

          Now it is time for me to take control I know it is going to be a long and hard process but I have finally hit rock bottom with my life and I know I can make a change! I am praying that by Christmas I will be down at least 20 lbs. I am going to update a few days a week and do weigh-ins on Sunday's. I hope whomever sees this blog will join me in my journey to lose weight and the discovering of who I can truly be. (First weigh in will be Sunday October 9th) Pictures will start on the next weigh in!