Starting my journey

Today I have finally seen what I have become, and now it is time for me to do something about it. I went to the Doctors yesterday and I weighed in at 217 lbs. When I checked the bmi calculator in the office I am just a few lbs away from being considered morbidly obese. I am 23 I want to have a family, but at the weight I am at right now and with the pcos that can not happen until I take better care of myself. For years I was always ashamed of my body and looking back weighing 150 lbs was nothing to be ashamed of.

           Once I got my license I went and tried to comfort myself with fast food which was the biggest mistake of my life. All throughout High School I was tormented for being the "fat girl" and after a while you start to believe all of the garbage people say about you, and instead of talking to someone and getting help I turned to fast food, and all it did was turn on me. I guess in a way fast food was my best friend. It did not judge me, it did not care what I looked like, it was just that one thing to cheer me up when I was down. I don't even want to know what I have spent at McDonalds and Wendys over the past 6 or 7 years :-(

           And though it all I have a wonderful boyfriend who has in my mind put up with me and my weight since we were 16 years old. In 6 years you should be comfortable enough with someone for them to know every aspect of who you are, and I am still holding who I am inside. He would love to see me in dresses and other things most 23 year old women wear, but my daily wardrobe is usually jeans and a t-shirt, even in the summer. I just can't get past being fat and having my jiggly arms show in a dress or tank top, hell I can't even remember the last time I wore a pair of shorts.

          Now it is time for me to take control I know it is going to be a long and hard process but I have finally hit rock bottom with my life and I know I can make a change! I am praying that by Christmas I will be down at least 20 lbs. I am going to update a few days a week and do weigh-ins on Sunday's. I hope whomever sees this blog will join me in my journey to lose weight and the discovering of who I can truly be. (First weigh in will be Sunday October 9th) Pictures will start on the next weigh in!